I miss you Mum.
I miss you on every birthday, every Christmas, every Mother’s Day, White Sunday, Easter.
I miss you when I see my friends and cousins with their mothers.
I missed you when I had Rosie and I didn’t have you here to show me how to bathe, change or feed a baby.
I miss you when I answer the phone and it’s not you.
I miss you when I see a pair of size 7 high heels or a packet of sunflower seeds from Pago, or peanut slabs.
I miss you when I watch Sound of Music and Sister Act.
I miss you when I see a nice romance book and I remember how you so loved your books.
I miss you every time I hear an ABBA song.
I miss you when I see one of your friends from DBS and I see how old they are getting…then I wonder if you would have looked like them if you were here.
I missed you when I graduated and you weren’t there with your one ula lole to hug and quietly congratulate me. Because you were humble like that.
I miss you at every performance, every competition. My eyes look for you at every event because you were my biggest supporter. Always there, proudly watching and willing me on.
I missed you when I got married and on my wedding day, I only had my best friend to help me get ready.
I miss you every time I have a problem that I can’t share with anyone.
Because of you, I am terrified of cancer. Every time I hear the word, I think, death.
Because of you, I make sure I tell people how much I care for them.
Because of you, I appreciate every moment I am allowed to spend with loved ones.
Because of you, I love too much and too hard. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
In losing you, I learned very early on that life is the most precious gift, now is the only time we have and never take for granted we will get a tomorrow.
I hope you have the most amazing Birthday party up there with a warm loaf of bread, a cold kuaka paka and a little bottle of coke.
You may be gone from here…but you will never, ever be gone from my heart.