Have You Ever Felt Like People Just Don’t Understand You?

With Lucia Leaupepe-Leota and Teofilo Molio'o. Caption: Giving credit where credit is due. Two of the few people who help me do the things I would NEVER, EVER, EVER voluntarily do. ❤

Have you ever felt like people just don’t understand you? Or you just don’t really understand people?

Have you ever felt at some point like you don’t really fit in somewhere?

Well I have. Lol. Lots of times.

I’m weird like that.

 I came across the term “introvert” a few years ago.

I don’t fully understand the totality of what the term introvert means, but I think I’ve got the gist of it.

It’s a personality type used to describe people who are deep thinkers, who love alone time and don’t like to be the centre of attention.

I decided a few years ago that this is my personality type.

As a self-diagnosed introvert (thank you Doctor Google), I want to share a few everyday introvert-ish things so all the other weirdoes out there know they are not alone.

I also want to share this so that if you KNOW someone who is #smallkine socially awkward, you have an idea why and maybe it will help you understand them better.

1) We like people, just not many people.
That’s not because we judge other people.
We just don’t like being surrounded by so many of them.

2) Our brains are a bit slower than most.
I think because introverts’ minds are in a complete jumbo at times (with all those unspoken thoughts), it takes a while to respond verbally to something that is said to us.
We may need time to respond, but if we feel comfortable enough to talk to you – you won’t be able to shut us up…..aye Atapanaaaarrrrr? Lol.

3) We don’t like performing in front of people.      We aren’t cowards but we prefer to let someone else shine. Not everyone wants to be a superstar all-eyes-on-me person.

Some of us just want to be a little firefly glowing softly from the side, or at the back.

Waaaayyy at the back.
We don’t volunteer for many things because that’s just not who we are.

We are content to be the supporters in the background, out of sight and preferably out of mind.

4) We don’t like engaging with big groups of people.                                                                          We would rather talk to one or two people all night long and have an honest-to-goodness conversation than be in the midst of a crowd, forced to make small talk.

Crowds terrify us. Meetings annoy us. Speeches kill us.

5) The above said, we absolutely suck at small talk. We don’t want to talk about “That’s a beautiful dress, where did you get it?” And “Isn’t the weather beautiful today?”

We prefer to talk about things like “What do you think God has in store for us?” “What do you think is so wrong with a man that he would rape his own daughter?” “Why do you think women stay in abusive relationships?”

We like meaningful conversations.

Things that make us THINK and FEEL. Errrrr! Lol.

6) We don’t like being the centre of attention.
We are terrible at receiving compliments.

If you want to tell us how much we rock, do so quietly or by a written message please.
Do NOT come at us in front of other people.

It makes us feel AWWWKWARD!!! lol

7) We need to be alone at times.
Social gatherings are very draining for us and we crave solitude.

It helps us think, reflect and rejuvenate.

If we have to face a group of people for more than 30 minutes and actually TALK to them… we would love to then have the next 6 hours absolutely alone to recover. Lol.

8) We have very strong opinions and are very selective about who we share them with.
Don’t mistake our silence for ignorance, though; we’ve got lots to say – just not to everyone.

We’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Lol.

9) We have a very small group of ‘friends’.
We may hang out with lots of people, but there is a very small group of people who really, really know us.

Those real friends are the ones who TRULY know how nuts we can be.

10) We prefer writing over talking.

We communicate a bit better through writing because it gives us the chance to untangle our thoughts and put them into a logical sequence so that we can convey exactly what we want.

Talking is a little too personal for us.
We save our talking for our boyfrans……Pe ku’u? LOL.

You see the really engaging people online? They’re engaging – ONLINE.

In real life, that may not be the case.

Like me. I will joke with you and comment back and forth online.

In real life, if you see me in public – I have my earphones on, that’s because I don’t want to talk.

11) We avoid confrontations.
We very rarely put on public displays of annoyance or disagreement.
We don’t like to draw attention to ourselves.

12) We aren’t super smiley people.

Sometimes this gives off the impression that we are snobby.

We aren’t. At least I’m not. Lol.

If you see us sitting quietly not talking to anyone, don’t think it’s because we are bored or ignoring people.

We’re just lost in our own thoughts.

13) We are very empathetic people.
We are very in tune and considerate of people’s feelings.
We try and feel what they feel to better understand their whys and therefores.

We are also great listeners.
Got a problem? Holla at your girl. We will give you sound advice. Even if we don’t follow it ourselves. Lol.

14) We don’t like being put on the spot. Ever.   There are people who just laugh and jump right in to whatever they are asked to do.

There are those who are a little nervous at first but then eventually get comfy.

Then there are the introverts standing there awkwardly thinking “why are they DOING THIS TO ME???? Do they HATE ME???”
We could be the wittiest, smartest people around…. but put us on the spot – and we will freeze…and stay frozen…

Please don’t do that to us.

15) Our confidence levels are below average.          If we are forced to do something out of our comfort zone, know that it takes a lot of courage for us to do that.

Be nice and patient with us.

16) We overthink things.                                          You can trust an introvert to get stuck in their mind going over and over every little thing.

It’s hard for us to let go.

We tend to dwell on mistakes and mishaps a long time after they have passed.

If you find that you identify with any or several of the things above, then you’re probably one too.
Very few people understand our quirkiness and eccentricities; even fewer people appreciate it.

What’s important though, is that you TRY and get out of your mind once in a while.

Air that space out for a bit before you crawl back in to it. Lol.

Most importantly, know that it doesn’t make you a misfit, it just makes you different.

And if you’re okay with that – that is all that matters.

When introverts have no choice lol.

Marlene Kathleen Mulipola
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